, – Quarrel is something that can not escape from married life. However, what happens if the fights often happen to newly married couples? The lack of fights may be one measure of a harmonious relationship. There are also those who say that fighting is also a process to identify a partner.
Even so, fights that are too frequent should not be tolerated and need to be resolved immediately. The reason is, problems that have not been resolved are not impossible to threaten married life. Well, here are tips that can be tried to resolve an argument with a partner.
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Fight often? Overcome This Way
Launching from WebMD, there are a number of strategies that can be done to overcome quarrels with partners, namely:
- Sleep When Angry
When you feel angry with your partner, you should avoid or minimize contact with your partner first. Sleep is one of the things you can do to overcome or slightly relieve anger. Through sleep, you can clear your mind for a moment.
Try taking a short break when you feel angry. Even resting for 30 seconds can help you and your partner stop fighting. Try to stop and get out of the real room to find some quiet.
- Give in
According to Melody Brooke, a marriage and family therapist from the US, giving in to your partner can melt and trigger empathy. Although counterintuitive and difficult to do, giving in is usually successful in stopping a fight.
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- Shut up and Touch
Brooke also says that talking about problems constantly sometimes doesn’t help solve problems. So partners need to hold on to each other when there is nothing else to do to resolve the argument.
- Don’t Strike Back
Couples often know what to say to each other and don’t want to give in to arguments. Even though constantly attacking can make you feel comfortable and winning, in the end you will say hurtful things to your partner.
If it has come out, it is not impossible that the words spoken can damage the marriage relationship. If you don’t want that to happen, it’s best to hold back so you don’t attack back.
- Respond Warmly
Try to listen to your partner’s feelings, even if it doesn’t make sense at the time. Then say something warm and understanding. Emphasize that it doesn’t matter who is right. Research at Baylor University recently showed that arguments between partners are linked to power. This study reveals that in a fight, generally someone wants their partner to give up power.
However, some people also want their partner to do something to stop the fighting, communicate more, give affection, and apologize.
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If you often fight with your partner and it is difficult to handle it, you can talk to a psychologist about the problems you are facing. Through the application , you can contact a doctor anytime and anywhere.