– The desire to have is common in a relationship. However, if this sense of belonging is excessive and makes a person feel entitled to regulate, limit, and prohibit their partner’s life, this is called possessiveness.
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According to the Big Indonesian Dictionary (KBBI), possessiveness is a trait that makes a person feel like the owner. In other words, a person with this trait feels that his partner belongs to him, so he will do whatever it takes to not lose his partner. She will control what her partner can and cannot do and feel jealous when her partner disobeys. Unfortunately, some people perceive this trait as a form of concern even though it has made relationships unhealthy. So that you are not mistaken, consider the following five characteristics of a possessive partner, let’s go.
Doesn’t Appreciate You
In some cases, possessiveness is shown by harsh words, sarcasm, critical speech, or rude calls. This is done to lower your self-confidence, so that you will feel helpless in looking for a relationship other than your current partner. Not infrequently, this trait is also shown to exes, people close to you and yourself.
Possessiveness is also synonymous with jealousy. This is demonstrated in a variety of ways, from interrogating, testing, stalking, checking cellphones and social media accounts, to cutting off your contact with other people who make them jealous. If this is done by your partner, you need to be vigilant. Especially if he always asks you where you are all the time, is jealous for no apparent reason, and asks for photo proof while in a place.
This is the Danger of Excessive Jealousy
If their desires are not fulfilled, a possessive person will threaten their partner. He will also do anything to make his partner obey, including threatening to leave or even commit suicide if their partner does not comply.
Always in Control
Possessive people tend to control what their partners can and cannot wear, do and have. That’s why, possessive people will control who you can be friends with, what clothes to wear, and other rules that often don’t make sense.
This condition occurs because possessive people are afraid of losing their partner. Therefore, when his partner does something that he thinks is wrong, he will be disappointed and angry. Including when his partner is late in giving news, coming home late from the agreed time, meeting people he doesn’t like, and other made up excuses. In fact, not infrequently, this feeling of disappointment is shown in the form of physical violence, such as slapping or hitting.
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Tips for Dealing with a Possessive Partner
The possessiveness of your partner can make your relationship unhealthy. Therefore, see 3 effective ways you can deal with a possessive partner here:
- Talk about it
Possessiveness usually appears because there are certain conditions that underlie it. Therefore, understanding why your partner is behaving possessively is a good first step to overcoming this problem. Talk to her about her insecurities and fears. Does it have anything to do with her past, such as a bad childhood or experiences of being left behind by loved ones? Although this is a difficult conversation, delaying talking about it will only make things worse.
So, you need to help your partner overcome their insecurities so that they understand that there is nothing to worry about. Thus, you can have a healthy relationship.
- Show Her Love
You may not know how a simple hug saying “I love you” or compliments can have a tremendous impact on a relationship, especially if you have an insecure partner. So, don’t hesitate to express your love, both verbally and physically. Give your partner the assurance he really needs and so that he understands that you are truly committed to your relationship.
- Involve Couples
So that your partner doesn’t get jealous, next time you want to go out with friends, invite your partner to come too. Get him involved in your plans and let him see what your world is like. The more often you involve your partner, the safer they will feel. If your partner has a problem with a male friend, bring them together. Let him see for himself that you have a genuine friendship with this man.
Possessiveness often makes a relationship tenuous. Because, this trait is often considered annoying and makes someone uncomfortable and feels uneasy. If you have a possessive partner, there’s nothing wrong with talking to your doctor. You can ask your doctor about what you should do when dealing with a possessive partner.
To talk to a doctor , you can use the Chat with a doctor feature in the application . You only need to download the application on the App Store and Google Play, then you can contact the doctor anytime and anywhere via Chat, Voice Call , or Video Call . So, let’s use the app right now!
Bustle. Accessed 2020. 7 Signs Your Partner Is Possessive – & What Experts Say To Do About It.
The Minds Journal. Accessed in 2020. How to Deal With a Possessive Partner.